she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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