I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize