I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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