i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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