So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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