I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Two words: blizzard sex
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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