Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
