I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
