dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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