what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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