How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize