that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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