): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
A bitchslap is in order.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize