Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
