so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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