No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
