So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
