someone threw a dead crab at me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
