Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
