I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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