I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
