She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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