You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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