Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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