we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
