You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize