Non-Jews are for practice
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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