Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
