two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
