I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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