Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
