but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
True strength comes from lack of pants
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize