I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm gonna fight the coyote
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
