I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He? As in you personified your dick?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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