She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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