why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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