You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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