Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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