so that wasnt chicken after all
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
