wat bout pragnant strippers??
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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