I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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