thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he thought i was a dude.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
