oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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