You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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