you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
