franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
