Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Randomize