Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Welp...herpes.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
