I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
