My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
