I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
