what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
