do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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