Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
