when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
