dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
