everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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