I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
