the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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