i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
