Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
