Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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