That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
